Somethings happened to my blog. I attempted to put a widget in a couple of weeks back and since then half of my toolbar went away and everything looks different. SO I haven't written because of that. But I can't figure out how to fix it, so I guess I'll just go with it. Please excuse any spelling errors, as I no longer have spell check!
Immigration is involved in every aspect of our lives right now. It wouldn't seem so to someone who has never had to deal with Immigration. But for those of you who are dealing with it or have dealt with it, you know what I'm talking about. Even when buying clothes, Immigration hits ya like a ton of bricks. The thought of "should I buy this skirt for Chloe because its warm where we live or should I be buying her really warm clothes because we might have to go back to Ireland?" is always there. Both Chloe and I love her pre school. But I'm constantly thinking "Is this it? Will we have to go back to Ireland soon and she'll have to leave these great teachers and new friends?" I think about my educations and where I want to be. I want to help those who have suffered trauma and have disorders and addictions resulting from that. I'd like to have my own private practice. I know what I have to do here in California to accomplish that goal, but what do I have to do in Ireland to accomplish that goal? I've looked into it but I don't want to spend too much time on it in case we don't have to go back.
Its like a ghost following me around, poking me in the ribs constantly with these questions. I know I should let it go and just tell myself everything happens for a reason and not to worry. Thats much easier said than done. And I've always been known for worrying a bit too much. Our life is in limbo and it'll be this one answer we've been waiting for that will determine so many things. I hate that Immigration has that much control over our family.
The Embassy in Dublin FINALLY responded to Lois Capps, after a month and a half and two inquiries. And, what a surprise, they lied and got things wrong. First, they said Garys interview was on September 6 when it was actually on September 4th. Then they went on to note that he was charged with fraud for lying to an Immigration officer at the point of entry into the US. Which is a lie. It's just disgusting. These Embassies do whatever they want, whenever they want and totally get away with it. This is one of the main reasons why waivers are now processed in America. But, as we've learned, things aren't any better on American soil! I'm just outraged.
Our lawyer keeps checking in with the Department of State regarding the fraud charge. But they aren't getting a response from Dublin either. I'm just a bit confused as if it will even matter. I've read on that its ultimately up to the person reading your waiver. I've heard of people getting extra charges placed on them by the person reading the waiver. So I'm wondering if the person who is reading the waiver doesn't think Gary has committed fraud, if it'll then be dropped? But if Dublin can be pointed out and suffer consequences, then I'm all for that! Though that is probably just a dream.
Other than sitting around and waiting for an answer, things are going OK. I try to talk about the situation with others and end up crying. I saw a counselor at Hospice this past Monday about my Grandma and missing Gary. She was amazing! I'm very excited to see her again next week. Our anniversary is Oct 24 and I'm really sad that we have to spend it apart. It really kills me. Gary said he'll have a huge tub of Ben & Jerrys filled with ice waiting for me, so thats nice to hear :). Hes really good at making me feel better but I know hes hurting inside too. He really misses Chloe and just wants to hold her and play with her. Chloe says everyday that we need a big airplane so we can go see Daddy. Shes now saying "c'mon guys! Let my daddy in!" Its pretty cute. But sad at the same time. I can't deal with it much longer. This Saturday it will be a month since we submitted the waiver. It seems as though most people are getting a decision within two to two and a half months. I'm hoping this will be the case with us. I just want our family together for Christmas. I must go continue my reading for a big exam tomorrow in my group dynamics class. Until next time,
Candance & Chloe
I'm sorry to hear you and Chloe are having such a tough time. I completely understand what you mean about immigration permeating every aspect of your life. How could it not? People don't realize how this process makes simple decisions impossible. Do you invest in that new mattress you so desperately need, or tolerate an aching back until you find out whether or not you'll even need it. Unfortunately, you're stuck in a sort of tar pit. You can't go forward, and you can't go back. The best advice I can give you is to stay busy, try not to set deadlines (like the anniversary or Christmas), and just make up your mind that you are going to get through this. Remember to be kind to yourself, because the "tar pit" will take its toll on you if you don't.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are seeking counseling. That will help you process your anger and sadness.
Stay strong. The end does come. And when it does, all of this will seem like a blip on the radar.
A tar pit - YES! Thats EXACTLY it! Thats going to be wedged into my brain now when I'm feeling down and lost. Its the perfect analogy! It's really nice to hear when someone understands what we're going through. I know an end is in sight, but it feels like the time becomes slower and slower with each passing second these days.
DeleteThe counseling is doing wonders. Though, in counseling things usually get worse before they get better. But I'm surviving. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. People like you make this process a bit more bearable. Thank you.
Oh, how well I know how slowly time moves when your family is forced apart. I just spent my 4th anniversary away from my husband, thanks to a visa denial and misrep for checking the wrong box on the landing card(don't panic - we recently overcame it AT LAST, and the process is soooo much faster now than it was when we filed).
DeleteIt's difficult to stay motivated, but you have to force yourself to do so. Because your own destiny has taken out of your hands, it will feel like you're just going through the motions. But try to stay focused on what defines you. Immigration does not define you. YOU define you.
Stay strong. One day, life will change for the better.