Ah...I just feel so defeated. I'd like to start this entry off with some positivity, but it's difficult to find these days. We got to skype with Gary today, so that was really nice. I always feel a lot better when we get to "see" each other. Even if it is through a computer screen.
We still have no decision from Immigration. I was doing OK with it for a couple of weeks. I was trying to keep myself distracted and remain positive. But a few days again I hit rock bottom. I became so depressed and frustrated with this whole situation. I also started really missing my Grandma and had a really hard day on Wednesday. But, luckily, I also had a Counseling appointment that day. Before going in, I realized that I'll have my bad days with Immigration, missing my Grandma and missing my husband. I have to allow myself to have these bad days and not be down on myself for it. That was a freeing epiphany. My day got better once I realized this and had my counseling session.
But then, my patience went out the door and I decided I'd call Immigration. Ya know, because they've been so helpful in the past over the phone. So I called, had to dial in about 50 different options and finally reached someone. I knew I was going to have to speak to a tier 2 officer, so I requested to do so. In the past, I've been able to call and get updates about our previous forms. There were times when I was calling in daily. Sometimes multiple days throughout the day. When our first form, the I-130, was "misplaced" I was speaking to tier 2 officer left, right and center! Anyway, the operator transfers me and then I sit and wait. My phone battery started to die, so I had to put it on the charger and stand in the kitchen. That was a lot of fun. After an hour and a half, someone picks up. The connection was really bad and I could barely hear him. But I was able to understand these word - "If you're not Gary Mc Guinness or an attorney assigned to this case, I cannot disclose any information." I told him I was Gary Mc Guinness' wife and the petitioner, the American Citizen fighting to get my husband home to me. He didn't care. He just kept repeating himself. I pleaded with him. I told I hadn't seen my husband in over a year and could he, at least, tell me if our case has been assigned to an office and/or put in a service request. He said my husband would have to call in and do this and to have a good day.
I was irritated. I later told our lawyer and he said they changed the policy. And since Gary is the main person under the I-601, they need to speak with him. The problem is, we don't have the money for Gary to be sitting on hold for an hour and a half while paying International dialing fees. I emailed them after this but never received any type of response. Not even an automated response they're usually known for. Our lawyer said there isn't anything we can do but wait. And that kills me. He hasn't heard anything from them, nor has Lois Capps. It frustrates me to no end that they're allowed to do this. To give no answers, not have to stick to a processing time and send out automated emails or, no response at all, to people who have concerns. Our lawyer said they're aren't obligated to do any of this. The lives of so many people lay in their power and it feels like they couldn't care less.
For awhile, I wasn't seeing any decisions being made from people on the list at
www.immigrate2us.net. But a few just rolled in and they are all approvals but one. That's good news. The bad news for us is, a few of these people submitted their waivers after us and already have decisions. There are still people who submitted their waivers in July and August and still have no answers. Then people who submitted theirs in September and October already have answers. One person submitted theirs on the same day, Sept 13, we did and got an answer on November 6. I want to pull my hair out. But I guess my husband wouldn't appreciate a Bald wife. Though, at this point, he probably wouldn't even care! He'd just be overjoyed to see me and actually able to touch me.
I get so mad thinking about all of this and really don't know what to do with myself. I'm still working on potty training Chloe. Over the past four night, she doesn't want to go to sleep or wakes up in the middle of the night. I asked her why this is happening and she responded with "because I'm mad that Daddy isn't here." And when I try to talk to her about it, she just gets more and more upset. It's heartbreaking. It makes me feel like the worse mom and wife in the world. I never meant for all of this to happen, for us to not see Gary for over a year. And now this is the case and I feel so powerless and broken.
I still make it a point to talk about Gary with Chloe as much as possible. And she brings him up a lot too. She remembers his favorite color and little saying and games they had together. We talk about those things a lot throughout the day. She says "come on guys, let Daddy in!!" and tell people her Daddy is in Ireland. The funny thing is, shes been using some words they'd say in Ireland. Like garden for backyard and zed for z. She also pronounces tomato the way they do. That's all pretty funny. Shes truly Irish American!
Today I signed up for classes starting Jan 22. I've also contacted a couple of people regarding Masters and Ph.D. programs here and in Galway. It'd be nice to know where I'll be going to school, but I need to keep all of my options open, just in case we are denied. Gary has no work and is getting more and more depressed being away from us. I'd do anything for us to have a decision so we can all be reunited. A bunch of filers for August were just approved. If things were going in order, that'd mean we should have a decision in just a week or two. But nothing seems to be going in order, so who knows. And getting an answer from them is impossible. Each email always ends with "please allow another 30-60 days before contacting us again." OK, yeah, just another 2 months being separated, no problem! THANKS!
We hung Garys Christmas stocking up last night, right next to Chloes, as she requested. We just continue to wait and try not to lose our minds...completely. And now to get a Christmas tree in the pouring rain...
Candance & Chloe
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