December 18, 2011 I lost my Grandma to breast cancer. She had been fighting this battle for a lot longer than anyone had realized.
In the winter of 2008 her sister took her to the doctor where they discovered her right breast was partially eaten away from cancer. She had been living with this secret, this pain, as she hated doctors and didn't want anyone to worry about her. When her sister asked how she endured the pain on a daily basis she said she packed her bra with paper towels and changed them throughout the day due to the blood on them. We were all in the dark until she was finally forced to the doctor. Once she was diagnosed she began radiation. She was then hospitalized due to a 3rd degree burn caused from the doctor ordering too many radiation treatments too close together. Chloe was only a few weeks old at this point and I had to have a c section. But I was at my grandmas bedside on a daily basis.
I remember one day I started to lose hope and was crying at her bedside. She was in a pretty big daze because of all of the pain medication. I thought I had to bring her something to give her strength. The next day I brought in pictures of me and Chloe. I taped them to a spot where she was starring at for a long time. I came back the next day and she was back to her old self again! I was so happy to see her talking again and awake. During this time the only thing that got me through this was my husband. Without him, I don't know what I would have done. He was home watching Chloe while I was 45 minutes away at the hospital. He was there when I got home and gave me his shoulder to cry on.
On December 18, 2011 we lost my Grandma. Her health had been taking a turn for the worse and no one could convince her to get a blood transfusion from loss of blood. I tried numerous times but she was the most stubborn person you'll ever meet. Thats where I get it from! She lived with us growing up and I see so much of her in myself. When she passed I didn't have Gary here. Her death was the most devastating news I have ever received and I didn't have my husband here to take me in his arms. I still cry at least a couple of times a week thinking about her. And it just angers me that I can't have my husband here to console me, to make me smile and feel better. I have him on the phone or through skype, but thats not the same. I don't think the Immigration Office realizes how much strain and devastation they put on families. Something needs to change.
My father is also going through a lot, having lost his mother. He is disabled and is really struggling with the loss of his mother. I've been his main support, trying to help him through this horrible time. I am trying to get a letter from his doctor stating that I help my father and that makes it even more difficult for me to go back to Ireland. But the doctors office manager isn't being very helpful. My dad has called numerous times but he always either gets their voicemail or is told they're working on it. I went into their office yesterday and the office manager was in a meeting. The girl in the office was looking at me like I was speaking a foreign language when I was explaining what I needed. I wrote a letter explaining what the letter needed and begging for them to have it completed soon. She said she'd give it to the office manager but she couldn't guarantee anything. I called today but only got their voicemail. It's so frustrating. If I could get that letter, I may be able to expedite our case. Lois Capps office also said they'd send the letter in for us, if we can get it, that is.
Barbara Boxers assistant had said he'd send me a list of people in our area who could help us out with our case. He either didn't mean it, forgot or saw I live in a small area and there is no one around who could help. Thats been my experience, anyway. I don't think I'll be receiving anything from them. It's a bit disappointing, but what can you do?
I was on www.immigrate2us.net today reading posts about the I-601 waiver. This is the waiver asking for forgiveness of overstay. I had read the processing time was 7-9 months for the London office, which is where our waiver will be processed. There isn't a US Consulate in Ireland, so the waiver must be forwarded to the US Consulate in London. I've read there is only one person there who processes the waivers. ONE PERSON. That is why it takes so long for anything to happen. There was one woman on there saying her family had been waiting ten months with no answer in sight. Her 3 children constantly ask where their Daddy is. Its heartbreaking to hear this in more ways than one. It's not realistic to have us wait for our interview to only be denied and then have to submit a waiver that could take another year to go through. Meanwhile, our family is separated and stressed out to the highest degree. This was really discouraging to read today. Today my hope is not strong.
Another thing I read today was on the Immigration website www.uscis.gov, that I frequent daily to check Garys status. The page was announcing a forum that you could participate in and ask questions live. I got really excited and clicked on it. I then read it will all be conducted in Spanish. I was at loss for words. Seriously?? I understand the United States has a huge population of Illegal Immigrants from Mexico. But this just feels like they are now being favored.
There weren't other forums in any other languages, say Italian or Russian. So those who don't speak Spanish aren't able to participate in the forum. Needless to say, I wasn't too happy about this. It goes back to that argument about people needing to learn English to live here. I go back and forth on the issue, but I do really think it's important to learn the language of the Country you're planning on living in. I was in Paris for a few days a couple of years back. Nothing was in English, every sign, every menu, everything was in French. I attempted to speak French but the locals just looked at me and walked off or laughed at me. If that happened in America to those who couldn't speak English there'd be an uproar.
One fantastic thing did happen today and that was an email from the Pearl Jam fan club. I had handwritten them a letter thanking the band for everything they have gotten me through over the years. I've been a member of the fan club since 1994 and plan on always being a member. I put in one of my favorite pictures of Chloe too. The fan club emailed me back today to say congratulations on our daughter and how sorry they are for the loss of my grandma. It was really heartwarming to receive this email. It was wonderful to know that they took time out of their day to read my letter and respond. It really made my day and put a huge smile on my face. I'm trying to focus on this and forget about Immigration, at least for the rest of today.
Candance & Chloe
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