The last few days have been more difficult than usual. Having my husband gone hurts me more and more everyday. One would think you might get used to not having your partner there on a daily basis. This is not the case for me.
This past weekend a good friend of mine had her baby shower for her little girl that will be making her entrance into this world very soon. I was so happy to go and celebrate with her, her lovely family and friends. But in the back of my mind I couldn't help but think about her last baby shower a couple of years back where my husband and I both attended. It made me sad, as I wanted him here to go to this one too. Or tell me that's girl stuff and he'll stay home this time, haha. Which would have been fine since I'd be coming back home to him anyway. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I had a great time, don't get me wrong. I just really missed him being there for me.
Lately our daughter has been asking for her daddy more and more. Theres one thing she wont share and that's her milk. She loves milk and would drink it all day, if I'd let her. There is one person she'll share with, however, and that is her daddy. Every night she kisses the same picture of her daddy on my phone. She says I love you Daddy and puts her milk cup up to the phone and makes sippy noises. Its the cutest thing I've ever seen and it breaks my heart. A little girl shouldn't be away from her Daddy, especially for this long. I dream of the day when she gets to run to him and give him a big hug and attack him with kisses. I wish I knew when that day was. If I had any type of a time frame, things would be a bit easier. But I only have multiple people telling me different things and I don't know who to listen to or trust. This really shouldn't be the case and it really upsets me. I understand there are thousands of people trying to immigrate to this country and the process takes time. But people should be able to get straight forward, honest answers. They shouldn't have to call the 1800 number multiple times, drive for hours to speak to someone and talk to numerous lawyers. Its a disgrace and is in need of improvement.
If anyone knows me, they know I'm a HUGE Pearl Jam fan. I have been since 1994. I know it may sound cheesy, but this band and their music has gotten me through the toughest times of my life. Its funny. I listen to Pearl Jam on a daily basis, as it is. But when something is really troubling me I listen to them even more, nonstop. I relate to their music and their message on such a personal level. I've seen them many times in concert and can't wait to see them again. Its like therapy for me. I wrote to their fan club a couple of weeks ago and shared my blog link. It'd be a dream come true if they're reading this! If so, HELLO! Chloe has also fallen in love with them and asks to listen to them if they're not on. I put on their Austin City Limits concert and she stops dead in her tracks. She says Pearl Jam and actually sits down and watches and listens to their music. For Chloe to sit down for more than, say, 3 seconds, is a miracle! We listen to them in the car and she bobs her head back and forth. I've even tested her to see if she knows if its Pearl Jam playing or not and she does! So I'm a very proud mama that my daughter has such good taste in music, haha. I'm very thankful for the boys, as I like to call them. I don't think they could ever realize how many people they've touched and helped out. And for that I'm forever grateful.
I have a couple of updates. One being that I spoke with a very nice lady at the Tribune, our local paper. We're going to meet in person and I hope she'll run a story on us! More news to come on that. Yesterday I also went and visited the Human Services Dept at a local college here and spoke with the Director. I'm hoping to start classes to become certified as a Drug & Alcohol counselor. I have a lot going on right now, so this could be a good distraction. It'll be tricky trying to be a mom, still take care of my father and go to school. But I'm ready to try, and sometimes that's all you can do. Until next time friends,
Candance & Chloe
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