Mama, look, that man is sad

 Day # 179 -
 Yesterday Chloe and I were getting into our truck and there was a man beside us in his car with his head down. I'm assuming he was reading. Chloe saw him and said "mama, look, that man is sad." And I said "oh no,why is he sad?" She responded with "cuz he misses Daddy."
   In the saddest, smallest voice I've ever heard. I asked her if she missed Daddy and she said "yeah" really low. My heart just broke. I was so sad after that. She's really been acting up lately and I know it's the terrible twos. But I think its also from missing her Daddy.

 Yesterday at the daycare at the gym one little boy was screaming and crying. His mom said she thinks its because her husband is working the outage and he hasn't seen him much lately. I wanted to tell her about Chloe not seeing her daddy from 6 months, but I didn't want it to come off the wrong way, like I was trying to compete or something. Its funny how perspective two year olds can be. We forget sometimes or just think they're only 2, they don't know whats going on. But they do. Maybe sometimes better than us adults.

  Yesterday I was so discouraged. I was on www.Immigrate2us.net and read a post where they had been denied for their I-601 waiver. This is the waiver Gary and I will have to do since he overstayed. I will be doing a post explaining the forms soon, I promise! At the moment you cannot file your waiver along with your I-130. The I-130 is the form stating your relationship to the applicant. You have to file the I-130, wait many months for it to be processed, are then asked for more forms to be completed, along with their fees to be paid.

  You're then FINALLY given an interview date at the US Embassy in the Country you're from, if you're outside of the US. Once you have the interview, if you have an overstay, were deported and/or have a criminal record, you will, most likely, be denied. You then have to fill out the I-601 for an overstay or the I-212 for deportation. Last time I checked, the I-601 was $585. At the moment, my husbands I-601 waiver would be sent to the US Consulate in London for processing and a decision to be made. But there are now talks of having all waivers sent to the US for processing. This isn't set in stone yet.

  I'm so frustrated because I don't understand why we can't file both the I-130 and the I-601 at the same time. I've read its because the Consulates can get confused and lose the paperwork or forget about the waiver. I'm hoping that one day this will change.

  I'm just so nervous about the whole process and am getting discouraged. I read so many posts where people have been denied, after waiting 10 months to a year for their waiver to go through. It's not realistic for us to be away from my husband and Chloe's dad for that long. It's already been 6 months and I feel like I'm going to break at any moment and start running towards the airport. Mind you, the airport is about a 3 hour drive, so I'd have a long way to go...with a 2 year old in tow!

  Part of me was thinking that's it! I can't do this anymore! We'll go back to Ireland and wait for his ban to end in September of 2013. That's a whole year and a half away. That's a whole year and a half where we sit in a Country whose economy is getting worse by the second. A place where we are frozen. Where there are no jobs, forcing us to live off of the Government, which I really don't like doing. Most people don't like living off the Government but have no choice. We have a choice and that is to start a life in California. But we can't do that until Immigration allows us and that makes me want to bang my head against the wall. I'd like to start school again to become certified as a drug & alcohol counselor. While Gary wants to go back to school as well, hoping to take classes to become a firefighter.

  But we can't give up, we just can't. That's what they want us to do and it's not going to happen! We have the option of going to visit but there are a few problems there. One is, now that Chloe is two she requires a child's fare. This is maybe $100 or $200 cheaper than an adult fare. Last time I looked, it'd be $2000 for us both to fly. We still have Immigration fees to pay, so we couldn't afford that.

  Another problem is, my husband lost our house since we weren't there, living as a family of 3. So I'm not sure where we'd stay. It just feels like one thing after another and we're not getting anywhere in the process. Each day goes by slower and slower without my husband. I grow sadder and sadder not having him beside me. His birthday is May 27 and I can't even be with my husband to celebrate. We've had Christmas, New Years, Easter and Chloe's birthday without him. It was very difficult celebrating without him. My birthday is in September and I am determined for us to be together, one way or another!

  I still have no news to report regarding my Dad's doctors office. I've been calling a couple of times a day but all I get is the Office managers voicemail. I never get called back. Without this letter, our case is very weak and will, most likely, be denied. My dad will have no one to help him or be there for support if we have to go back to Ireland. Its hard to prove this without a letter from the doctor though. I'm going to try to take him around to collect his medical records sometime next week. But he was hospitalized last week and in the ER just the other day. So I don't know if he'll be well enough to do this. Lets hope he is! Have a great weekend everyone and thank you for reading,
Candance & Chloe